is there a name for this color?
a silver lining, a periwinkle hue
in the midst of the queen,
gold peaked through.
what do you do when life is eating you
alive?
being programmed to the sea,
i've never felt more
alive.

the audacity of a fifteen year old girl
to tear a piece of seaweed off a rock
tie it to her ankle
and play queen of the ocean.
tracing the shoreline
paying her debts in sand dollars
and her dues in starfish
because this place on earth is less explored than the moon.

sometimes it's wonderful to feel small.
the grains of sand are more numerous
than her subjects
the grains of sand are more numerous
than her questions
the grains of sand are in her hair for weeks
no matter how many showers
because you can't rinse off a crown.
you can't rinse off the memory
of when you ruled the world.

to this very day
the wind in my hair makes me feel gorgeous.
there's a reason why sea glass is not double sided.

the golden sun kisses the ocean
in the presence of the queen
and the queen goes to her knees
and the queen loses sight of the horizon
the border between yesterday and the sky
the border between tomorrow and time
the border between your land and mine
and the land that no one has claimed
besides question # last grain of sand
the bliss of feeling small
the bliss of not knowing
specifically, the bliss of her royal underpants
absorbing the pacific
which is worth bearing the three heavy hours back home.

at some point
without her knowledge
the waves swept away her seaweed anklet
the most precious piece of an ordinary thing
because now the ocean is too cold to kneel in
and now crabs are tearing at our soles
and now the ocean is not enough to breathe in
and now our home is swept away from under our feet.

time shall follow the queen's orders, but not mine.

don't you worry.
the waves always return to the shoreline.
and again, repeated over and over in my life
i wake up to sand caressing my pillow in the creases.

is there a name for this color?
is there a name for this feeling?